


A Few Things That Happened The Day Horses Started Talking

by Gallifrey_Immigrant



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Eleventh Doctor Era, amy pond and eleven are a good team
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 16:49:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7515794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gallifrey_Immigrant/pseuds/Gallifrey_Immigrant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>6 or so different snapshots, showing why time travel is so dangerous. You could end up with horses ruling the Earth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Few Things That Happened The Day Horses Started Talking

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a request fic. Was rather fun to write.

Prologue.

 

“Uhm, Doctor,” said Amy. “Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?”

“Yes, Amy, you're seeing what you think you're seeing. If you think that you're seeing a talking horse,” said the Doctor. 

Indeed, they were surrounded by a troupe of multicolored horses. Some were pink, some were blue, and some were green.

Not for the first time today, Amy wondered how she had gotten to this point.

It had started out as a normal day. Amy had walked out of the TARDIS into Earth 2219, hoping to see how the world had changed in the new decade. 

She had been met by a horse.

“Hello, horsey-friend,” she had said. The horse, with a bright red mane, stared at her. There was an odd feeling of knowledge in its eyes.

“It is a two-legs!” cried the horse. “The mythic TWO LEGGGGS!”

The horse galloped away, leaving an extremely confused Amy.

“I just saw a talking horse, Doctor!” she said, when the Doctor caught up to her.

“Oh, what a coincidence. I saw a man in a very convincing horse costume walk down the street,” said the Doctor.

“Are there supposed to be talking horses in 2016?” said Amy.

“Well, no,” said the Doctor. At that moment, another horse with a blue mane was walking down the street.

“Hello, are you a talking horse?” he asked the horse.

“Y-yes,” said the horse. His mane hairs were on end. “What in herdin' hell are you?”

“I'm a Time Lord. This is a human. Have you seen a human before?”said the Doctor calmly.

The horse's ears cocked up. “No. Is that what you are? Anyway, stay away from me.” With that, he gallopped away.

The Doctor frowned. Then, without a word, he ran down the street, without explaining further. Amy, by now, was used to the Doctor's odd behavior (and lack of explanation), and followed him.

When Amy caught up to him, he was in the TARDIS. Amy could see he was already inputting directions, and he barely noticed that she had come in. She quietly closed the doors behind her, and peeked over the Doctor's shoulders.

“What are you looking at?”asked Amy. 

“A history of Earth. I took a peek in the archives, tried to see if I could see anything amiss. What do you notice?”

Amy peeked. All the events looked alright...except something was off about the people. Namely, they were horses.

Prime Minister? Was a horse.

Queen? Was a horse?

American president? There was none. The American Emperor, however, was a horse.

“Alright, why is everyone a horse?” said Amy. 

“No idea. Something changed in time around...1500s. Let's find out, shall we?”

When they landed, they were barely a few steps from the TARDIS, when they had been surrounded by a group of talking horses. With artificial horns strapped to their head.

Now, Amy and the Doctor were locked in a wooden cage, with a group of chanting horses surrounding them.

“Why are you here, human!” snarled one of the horses. He had a green mane, and a very large horn. Amy got the sense he was the head honcho. 

“Doctor, say something clever”, Amy whispered. 

“Actually, we got lost,” said the Doctor, smiling politely. “Where exactly are we?”

“You walked into the middle of Equus land...by accident?” said the horse. “Am I being taken for a fool?”

At that, he pointed his horn dangerously close to Amy's neck. “Perhaps some cuts to your abdomen will remind the humans of the rules. No human is to be here!”

“Say something cleverer”, whispered Amy.

The Doctor replied with something that, years later, Amy would still call the dumbest thing she'd ever heard.

“Of course, we know the rules. That's why we're here. You see, I'm half-horse on my mother's side,” said the Doctor. “I'm here to discover my heritage.”

The attacking horse, and Amy, both stopped and stared.

“Is he an idiot?” the horse asked Amy.

“No, but sometimes it's easy to forget that,” said Amy. 

 

1.

The priest, Michel, looked up as a man walked into the church. His eyes looked worried, and he was looking all around.

“What is your problem, sir?” the priest said. 

He was not unused to people replying with strange replies to that question, but this man's reply was unusual. 

“My horse is talking to me. Loudly,” the man said. 

“Sir, now is not the time for jokes. I do not take well to such games,” said the 

“I am not joking! I took my horse out of the stable, and it asked me to give it hay!” the man said. His face had all the look of seriousness.

Before the priest could reply, two people ran into the church. One was a man, dressed in a bowtie and a green coat. His hair was a little frizzled, and his face looked stressed. The other person was a girl, who was a redhead with an equally red sweater on. The priest had never seen any of them before.

“Why are you in my church?” the priest asked.

“Hello, I'm the Doctor, and this is Amy,” said the man, gesturing to the girl. “Looking for evidence of talking horses. Turns out that the population of 2016 Earth have all become horses.” said the man. 

“We figure out that there might be some evidence around here. So, seen any talking horses,” asked the girl.

“Well, my horse talked to me today,” said the man.

“See, that's perfect!” said the Doctor. “Where's your horse?”

“Should be somewhere down that way,” said the man, pointing in a direction outside.

The girl stared, and said “You mean where the burning flame is?”

The man's eyes widened. “Y-yep. Maybe something's gone wrong!”

“Figures. Okay, see you later. Come along, Pond!” said the Doctor, and ran back out the church.

The girl sighed, and followed him.

The priest stared at the first man, who just shrugged, and left. 

Then, the priest heard a lot of commotion, and decided it would be better to stay in. He could hear loud shouting, and a lot of footsteps.

Finally, a horse galloped into his church.

“May I have a confession?” the horse asked.

 

2.

Prince Eclair was a small boy. Unfortunately, he was also a mean boy, and that meant that his servants were often overworked by his commands.

“Do my chores, or I will tell my mother that you were bad to me!” he would say. The servants would argue, and grumble, but there was very little they could do. After all, his mother was the queen.

One day, he walked down the stairs, to the stables. There was his favorite pony. It wasn't a particularly pretty pony, but he had played ever since he was young. It was a small pink creature, but to the boy, it might have well been made of gold.

But today, when he saw his pony, it was particularly beautiful. Its pink hide was even brighter than usual, and there was a twinkle in its eye.

“Hello, Minerva,” said the boy. “I'm not really supposed to be down here, but the servants won't tell. They don't want to get in trouble.”

“You know, it's not good to use your influence like that,” said Minerva.

The boy was shocked! His pony never spoke before!

“Why are you speaking?” the boy asked.

“Because I managed to transplant my temporal consciousness...never mind,” said the pony. “Actually, you're just a small member of this species, aren't you?”

“I'm not small! I'm the Prince, and I can have you replaced!” said the boy.

“Hey, Doctor!” said a voice behind him. “I think we found one.”

Eclair turned, to see a woman with bright red hair appear behind him. 

“Hello, I'm Amy,” said the woman. “Who are you?”

“You're trespassing!” said the prince.

“Says who?” said the girl. The girl had a device in her hand, and she pointed it in the direction of Minerva. “You're one of the refugees. We're here to help you. My name is Amy, and my friend, who should be coming along soon, is the Doctor.”

The pony frowned. It occurred to Eclair that he had never seen a horse frown before.

“Why should I trust you?” said Minerva. 

“Because we're trustworthy!” said a man who poked his head behind Amy's. Eclair assumed he was the Doctor. “Don't we look trusty?” 

Eclair had the odd feeling that man was an idiot. Stomping his feet, the prince said “Listen to me! You are trespassing, and as prince, I shall have you deported!”

The Doctor flashed a piece of paper in his face. It said “King of Fantasia”.

“You're the King of Fantasia! Like in my bedtime stories!” said Eclair.

Both the Doctor and Amy smiled, for some reason.

“Sure, kid. We're from Fantasia. Our job is to, uh, help your pony friend go back to Fantasia,” said Amy.

“Does that mean I lose my horse?” said the boy. How would he live without Minerva?

“Do not cry, boy. I will be back,” the horse said, nudging the boy. “But you must promise me something first.”

“What” asked the boy.

“Never be mean to your servants again. They are people too. If you keep to this, and remember this, then I will return one day. I promise,” said Minerva.

Amy whispered something to the Doctor, who nodded with a smile. 

“We need to go,” said Amy. Minerva nodded, and walked away. 

“You will bring him back, right?” asked the boy.

“Of course,” said the Doctor, “I promise on my hearts.” 

“And could you tell King Cloister and Queen Belle that I think they are the best!” said the prince.

“Definitely,” said Amy. “Now go to bed, and remember to be nice!”

And the prince did. He tried his very best not to fuss, or be mean. Even the queen noticed his new behavior.

One day, he walked into the stables to find his pony there. It did not have the special luster it had that night, nor did it ever talk to him again.

But, Prince Eclair never forgot his touch with magic, nor did he forget to be nice ever again. And, even when he became King, he never forgot the note that was left with the horse.

The note said “With regards from King Cloister and Queen Belle, delivered by Sir Doctor and Squire Amy.”

3.

“I will not help you joust!” snarled the horse.

Sir Johann was befuddled. Not only was his horse speaking, but his horse was also actively refusing him.

“Give me back my lance, you horse!” said the knight. He ran after the beast, and tried to wrestle the lance out of his hand.

“Hey! PETA's going to have your head!” said Amy. This was the same girl who had been bothering him earlier.

“My horse is arguing with me!” said the knight. The horse was kicking at him, and his legs had a surprising amount of strength. Sir Johann soon found himself on the floor, crawling away from his rather angry horse.

“HAHA!” cried his horse. “You've been working me to death for days now! You've never fed me properly, you know. Now, I shall repay you for all those days of overwork, and misuse!”

Later, Amy would tell Johann that he screamed like a baby as the horse lowered a hoof on the knight's face. The foolish girl was clearly mistaken, as Sir Johann would never scream. Nevertheless, the knight was rather relieved when the Doctor showed up.

“Hold on!” said the Doctor, who was holding the horse's hoof, keeeping it from smashing Johann's face. “I have a better idea!”

“Get out of my way, two-legs,” the horse snarled. “This human is mine. I shall have vengeance!”

“Or, you could try peace. Listen, you're not the only horse who's developed the ability to talk,” said the Doctor. His face was oddly calm, despire the fact that a very angry horse was staring at him, clearly ready to start a fight.

“They don't want peace, the accursed hell-beas--” said Johann.

“Be quiet, mister knightey fellow,” hissed Amy.

“Thank you, Amy,” said the Doctor. He carefully guided the horse's hoof to the ground, and said “Instead of wasting your time dealing with a human, you could go and find your fellow horses.”

The horse seemed to consider, and said “And then, we can destroy our human masters, and rule them as our rulers! Brilliant idea, two-leg!”

“Err, that's not exactly...” started the Doctor, but his horse was already galloping away, neighing “HORSES SHALL RULE ENGLAND!”

“I think we're going to regret that,” said Amy.

4.

“And King Cloister, and Queen Belle, lived happily ever after,” said Danna, finishing her story.

“I met two of the King's sevants a few minutes ago,” said Eclair the boy she was telling the story to,. His eyes were already drooping, and Danna knew he would sleep soon. 

“Of course you did,” said Danna. “Now, you go to bed now.” Inside, she was dreading his response. The boy had a tendency to ignore whatever the servants asked him to do, because, as prince, he knew he could get away with it. 

But tonight, he didn't fuss. He quickly closed his eyes, and mumbled a “good night.”

Danna nearly gasped. The boy had never been so quick to sleep before. She leaned over, and whispered “Are you alright?”

“Minerva told me to be nice,” said the boy.

Minerva? Ah yes, the horse. Danna guessed he had been down to see the horses again. Technically, he wasn't supposed to, but Danna found it cute, so she hadn't told on him. Closing the door, she decided to leave the boy to sleep.

The palace, to Danna, was rather frightening in the dead of night. Shadows covered the hallways, and the odd bird call sent chills down her. She grabbed her skirt closer to her, hoping not to wake anyone up. Perhaps she should have asked the prince to sleep earlier. 

Danna was so busy keeping quiet, that she forgot to look where she was going, and crashed into someone. When she got up, she saw two people she had never seen before.

 

One was a man with a beard, and glasses. He wore a tophat, and had the look of someone who was not easily bothered. The other was a woman wearing fishnets, and short black hair.

“Who are you two?” asked Danna.

“Not so loud,” said the woman. “You'll wake everyone up.”

“My name is Do--” started the man, but the woman shushed him, and whispered into his ear. The man nodded.  
“That's true, giving away our identities could be bad,” said the man. He grinned at Danna, and said “You know, you're a very good storyteller. Cloister and Belle...rather childish, but it'll do. What do you say?”

Danna realized that he was referring to the story she had told the prince. “You were listening in on me?”

“Well, the rest of the palace was quiet. We had to amuse ourselves somehow. Right, Belle?”

The woman nodded. “I think we should find the orb. Its radiation might already be affecting the local wildlife. There's reports of a time traveler here in this area, maybe we've been found out.”

“Oh, that's unlikely,” said Cloister. “The consciousness of the Eris can't exist within humans, so the world will be safe. Plus, as long as that box stays closed, no aliens can get out of it!”

Danna was completely lost as to the conversation, but she looked at the floor, and decided to point out “Do you mean the box that's now on the floor, in shards?”

Cloister and Belle looked down at the pieces of glowing blue light.

“Yes, well, again, the aliens can't possess humans,” said Cloister.

All at once, there was a loud neighing.

Belle and Cloister looked at each other, and although Danna didn't know everything, she could tell something had gone wrong. 

“Damnit”, said Belle.

5.

The Doctor had assured Amy that this would be a simple trip. Oh yes, horses seem to have taken over the Earth after around the 1400s? Don't worry, Amy, we'll just pop by, deal with it, and be back in time for tea! Or coffee. Anyway, we'll be done soon.

However, something had gone terribly wrong. For one, the horses were quickly running amok. And it's a lot harder to argue with a talking horse than you might think. Plus, the Doctor had accidentally incited a horse vs human battle. And the horses were winning.

Right now, a group of horses were marching for the peasant village. They are seemed rather colorful for normal horses, each one having a bright color on their hide, and big fluffy manes. The strangest thing was that the lead horse had grown a horn. The Doctor had said something about “mythic resonance”, which meant, from what Amy could tell, the leader had patterned itself after the common legends of Earthlings. Apparently, the aliens possessing the horses weren't used to a corporeal form, and were picking up cues from the outside world on how to perform.

Minerva, the horse who had befriended Amy and the Doctor, said that the aliens had escaped from a war zone, and had awakened here. Unfortunately, she couldn't remember anything besides that.  
“I don't think these primitive people will be able to stop the horde,” said Minerva quietly.

“You've obviously never had to face the wrath of an angry villager,” said the Doctor. He was staring at the horses, and Amy could just imagine his mind trying to figure out a plan. Amy was kinda hoping he thought of something quickly, though.

A man standing out in the distance caught Amy's eye. He was wearing a top-hat, which seemed wrong, because top-hats hadn't been invented yet. She turned to tell the Doctor, but he was already off, walking toward the horses.

“He shall die a terrible death. I shall sing a song, in his honor,” said Minerva. The horse threw back its head, and began neighing something that seemed like a song, if by song you mean a horribly out-of-tune sound.

Amy decided to leave Minerva to her singing, and crept to the man with the top-hat. He was looking at the Doctor approaching the horses, and so he didn't notice Amy come behind him. 

“Enjoying the view?” said Amy. 

The man turned around, and laughed, raising his hat. 

“Who are you?” asked Amy. The man had an easy smile on his face, and didn't seem frightened off Amy at all. Amy noted the digital watch on his arm, and guessed he wasn't from this time period. 

“You may call me Cloister,” said the man. “And you may call her Belle.”

“Who?” asked Amy, before she felt something wrap around her chest. Before she could respond, there was a tug, and she found herself on the floor. Looking up, she saw a woman with black dress and fishnets, who was holding a whip.

“I'm Belle,” said the woman. “You must be a companion of the Doctor. You're a cute young thing...are you Clara? Or Alice. I always wanted to meet Alice.”

“My name is Amy Pond.”

“Ah!” said Cloister, clapping his hands. “Splendid! The feisty redhead!”

“Do you know me from somewhere?” asked Amy. 

“We just try to make sure, as time travelers, that we keep track of fellow travelers. Just to be safe,” said Belle. “The Doctor's pretty famous, being a Time Lord and all.”

“Do you have something to do with the talking horses?” asked Amy. A guilty expression immediately covered their faces.

“Um, somewhat,” said Cloister. “In our defence, it was an accident.”

“We were hoping to deal with this discreetly,” said Belle. “However, the situation has gotten out of hand.”  
Belle and Cloister gestured at the Doctor, who was now running from the horse crowd. 

“Doctor! Be careful” Amy said, and looking back at Cloister and Belle, she began to berate them.

Belle put a finger to the redhead's lips. “Allow us to explain. You see, we can't let those horses get harmed.”

As Belle and Cloister explained, below the Doctor was running away from a stampeding group of horses. He ran through the village gates, and locked the door with his screwdriver. He turned to see Minerva, the pony, singing. Or something, he couldn't quite figure out whether it was singing or screaming.

“Where's Amy?” asked the Doctor. Minerva stopped singing, and huffed annoyingly.

“The redheaded 2-leg? She did not like my song commemorating my death, and so she went somewhere. Perhaps to hide,” said Minerva.

“Hiding? No, Pond would never do that. Something must have caught her eye,” said the Doctor. Minerva shrugged, or the nearest approximation of it.

Suddenly, the Doctor heard the gate move. He turned aound, and saw the unicorn leader of the horses charging the gate over and over. It didn't budge, though.

Suddenly, the unicorn stopped, and laughed.

That didn't look good. 

“We need to go, Minerva,” said the Doctor. 

“Why?” asked Minerva. “Shouldn't the gate hold?”

The unicorn opened its mouth, and fire blasted out of it. The gate melted right before Minerva's and the Doctor's eyes.

“Alright then. Time for Plan H,” said the Doctor. “Minerva, provide a distraction.” He quickly ran further into the village.

Minerva now was the last line of defence against a large horde of angry talking horses. She held her head hight, and said “My brethen, this is not right. We are on a new planet, and because of that, we must do new things. No longer are we being hunted by alien hunters, so does it not follow, that we should not, too, become hunters? Let us, instead, become creatures of peace, and--”

“Will you please shut up?” asked one of the horses. 

Minerva paused, and said “I suppose a song of peace would not help?”

“What do you think?” said the unicorn, gnashing its teeth.

With that, Minerva shrugged, and ran to find the Doctor. She saw him carrying some bags.  
“Hello, Minerva,” he said. “Why aren't you causing a diversion?”

“It would have been a waste of time. My attempts at peace failed,” said Minerva.

“Ah, I know the feeling,” said the Doctor. He placed some sort of bag over Minerva's nose. “Keep that on.”

“Why?” asked Minerva. Her sense of smell had been hampered by the bag, and it was uncomfortable.

“You'll see,” said the Doctor. He gave a small smirk, and then he opened one of the bags he had. 

“Oh, unicorn! I have something for you!” said the Doctor. 

The horses were already throughout the village, blasting houses and huts. Goats were bleating, and people were running, clearly confused. A man was swatting at a horse with his rake, and the horse responded by tapping his hoof, which somehow made a small lighting bolt strike right next to the man, who quickly surrendered.

Another woman tried to lock one of the horses in the house. The horse responded by snarling, which suddenly caused the wind to pick up, and the house blasted apart from the force of the wind. 

“Is this work of the devil?” cried a woman. 

“No, not the devil,” said the Doctor. “Just some aliens who are evolving. They're scared, and they are lashing out. Fortunately, they are still horses.” 

He threw the contents of the bag out, and all the horses stopped. Thay suddenly turned to look at the Doctor, and ran toward him.

Minerva thought it would be the end of him, but the horses stopped at the bag, and ate the contents. Which were...oats?

“The hosts are all horses. They've got horse appetites. Couldn't resist some special oats,” said the Doctor. 

“Doctor!” said Amy. “I need to tell you something!”

Minerva neighed happily. “Hello, Amy. I had feared you might have abandoned us.”

Amy petted Minerva, and said “Doctor, there are some people I've met. You need to see them now!”

“Hello, Doctor”, said a woman behind Amy. “My name is Belle. My friend Cloister and I, well, sort of caused the big snafu.”

6.

“It's been a long day. Waking up in a new horse body, trying to get used to being on four legs, it's been very difficult,” said the horse. “I'm happy to escape that war, but this planet is all very new.”

Priest Michel nodded. It was all he could do, as he was afraid if he tried to respond to the horse, that he would either laugh or scream. That would be very unbecoming of him.

“Well, I've been talking all day. What do you think, priest?” said the horse.

Fortunately, at that time, someone burst through the halls of the church. It was a woman with a black dress and a whip. 

“Um, can I help you?” Michel asked, rather hoping she would say she had gone the wrong way. He was not looking forward to talking to a horse in front of someone else.

“Ah, I was looking for the horse. I found the last one, Cloister!” she yelled out.

Another woman came in, who the priest recognized as Amy from earlier. She crossed her arms, and said “The Doctor's ripping your friend Cloister a new one.”

“Hello“, said the horse. “Who are you two?”

The Doctor suddenly ran into the church. “Ah, another horse. Yet another of you and Cloister's stupid mistakes,” he said, looking at Belle.

“All of these aliens were refugees of war. We figured that placing them into another planet would save them. We didn't mean for them to possess horses!” said Belle.

“Of course not. But you know what happened? The entire time line of Earth changed! Everything became horsey!” said the Doctor. 

“Well, that's not the worst thing to happen to the timeline,” said a man who walked into the church.

“Not the worst thing! Cloister, London had horses as citizens! Meat products disappeared off the menu! My boyfriend was never born in that timeline. Or worse, maybe he was a horse. I don't want to marry a horse!” said Amy. 

“Alright, well, it's fixed now. Everyone happy?” asked Cloister. “We'll find a safe place to put the refugees.”

“No, I think I'll do that,” said the Doctor. “You people have done enough. What are you, anyway? Time Agency?”

Cloister and Belle both laughed.

“Now that, Doctor, we cannot tell you. It'd mess up the timeline. Safe to say, you've never met us before,” said Belle.

“Good-bye, Doctor, and Amy,” the man said, raising his hat. 

“See you later, sweeties,” said Belle. 

With that, Cloister and Belle walked away, and out of the church.  
“Hey! Get back here!” said Amy. She ran off after them.

The Doctor turned around, and whispered into the horse's ear.

“Do I have to leave?”asked the horse. “I really like it here.”

After some thought, the Doctor shrugged. “Okay. You can stay, but don't make any waves, or draw attention to yourself. Eat hay. Don't talk to people. Oh, and pick a normal name, like Harry. Or Susan. Susan's a good name.” 

“I can't talk to anyone?” asked the horse.

“You can talk to the priest. As long as he can keep a secret,” said the Doctor. The young man turned to the priest, and the priest felt almost intimidated by the young man's stare.

He just nodded at the Doctor.

“Wonderful!” said the Doctor. He twirled back to the horse, and shook its hoof.

Amy ran back into the church, looking mad. 

“I can't find Cloister or Belle!” said Amy. “They just vanished!”

“That's annoying. Oh, Amy, meet Susan. Or Harry. She/he hasn't decided yet on a name. But say hello.”

“Doctor, let's go back to 2016. I want to make sure that my boyfriend is alive again,” Amy said.

“Alright!” said the Doctor. He waved at the priest, and the horse, and walked away. Amy followed him.

There was a long silence, as the priest and the horse were left alone in the church.

“So, which name is better? Susan or Harry?” asked the horse to the priest.

The priest just laughed.

 

Epilogue.

“So, I had been replaced by a horse?” asked a disbelieving Rory. 

“Yep. And no one was the wiser,” said Amy. “Say, Doctor, what did you do with the canister of aliens?”

“Hmm?” said the Doctor. “Oh, I left them in Earth's prehistoric period. Didn't seem to cause any trouble with the timeline.”

“They probably possessed a bunch of lizards,” said Rory. “Imagine that. A bunch of walking, talking lizards.”

The Doctor's face suddenly darkened. 

“What's wrong?” asked Amy.

“Nothing,” said the Doctor. “Just realized something, that's all.”


End file.
